Live A Life You Don’t Need To Retire From

The Beginning

As a new physician, I became obsessed with something called the FIRE movement: financial independence/ retire early. The reality of working full-time in medicine (which, let’s be honest, is often much more than 40 hours per week) had been a rude awakening to me, and I was desperate to see a light at the end of the tunnel for when I might actually start living. The premise was this: I could work harder to make more money, live frugally, and then reach a point in the not-too-distant future where I could throw away my stethoscope and leave medicine behind… if I wanted to. I thought this idea of financial freedom was the key to my happiness. 

Near the end of medical school, I signed up for a loan repayment program that required me to work for three years at a federally qualified health center. Since I wanted to work with the underserved anyway, this seemed like a win-win. My financial freedom was off to a great start. In addition to my full-time clinical duties and after-hours call that sometimes required home visits, I started running an Airbnb out of my much-too-large attending house to make extra money. Being in a desirable location, I was often fully booked with four guests or more, and I ran all aspects of the business from online customer service to cleaning in between stays. 

Not my house

Burnout

My Airbnb earnings covered my mortgage and then some, and within my first year as an attending I paid off all my remaining student debt that wasn’t covered by my loan repayment program. However, the clinic turned out to be a poor fit for me, and I didn’t want to go through the bureaucracy of trying to get reassigned only to trade one set of known miseries for a new set of unknowns. I considered breaking the contract, but the penalties made it financially devastating to do so. I persisted to the detriment of my wellbeing, and at the end of my three-year obligation I was beyond burned out and couldn’t get away fast enough. I sold the big attending house and bought a house one third of its size, and I put in my notice to leave my clinic job without a plan for what I would do next. My last day at work was a mere two days after my loan repayment obligation was complete. 

Taking a Break

I then found myself unemployed for the first time in my adult life, living off the money I had saved and invested. Far from the panacea I thought it would be, my mini-retirement was underwhelming at best. I did some traveling, but I mostly traveled alone because all my friends were still working. I revamped old hobbies - I started writing again, playing music again, and running, but this didn’t give me the sense of accomplishment I was looking for. I started volunteering, thinking that I needed more structure, but I found I didn’t have the same drive that I had when I was working. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the social stigma of unemployment at a young age, facing the inevitable question from well-meaning friends at parties, “So what exactly do you do all day?” I felt embarrassed for not “contributing,” which is a topic for another day, but most importantly I was suffering from a lack of purpose. 

A picture I took on one of my mini-retirement trips

Today

Now let’s fast-forward to today: I work part-time in medicine, I work part-time as a coach, and I still have time for my hobbies and pursuits outside of work. I have a clear sense of purpose, I have flexibility in my schedule which gives me a crucial sense of control, and I now focus on working in a way that’s sustainable rather than working as hard as I can so that I can eventually quit. For me, this is financial freedom - I don’t have enough money to stop working completely, but I also have enough financial security and diversity in my income streams that I’m never again going to stay in a position that compromises my health. Having learned the importance of retiring to something, I no longer feel that I’m depriving myself by continuing to work. I’m doing the things I want to do, even if I had the freedom to do nothing instead. 

Your Journey

This is my story of how I found balance, but I want you to personalize this story for you. When you fantasize about quitting your job, what are you thinking about doing? How do you stop depriving yourself and start living your life now? What would open up for you if you abandoned all-or-nothing thinking and found a way for work and play to coexist in a way that feels harmonious and fulfilling? Take a moment to journal a response to these prompts. Don’t wait for a serious, life-altering event like burnout or illness to realize that you can’t keep putting off your dreams. Make a commitment to yourself to stop living for tomorrow and start living your life today. 

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