When Goal-Setting Doesn’t Work For You
The first time I was asked to set a SMART goal, I was a little annoyed. Based on the components of Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, and Time-Bound, SMART goals are intended to improve the specificity of your action to ensure you’re approaching your goal in an effective way. By providing very specific instructions, it also gives clear feedback on whether or not you’re following through. Unfortunately, as I’ve noticed from my own reactions and those of physicians I coach, SMART goals can sometimes feel too restrictive or anxiety-provoking. So how else can you effectively move towards the changes you want in your life? In this article, I’ll focus on several key strategies for promoting behavior change that don’t require any tedious tracking. Even if you’re the kind of person who likes structured goals, these frameworks can significantly boost your efficacy.
Person I Want To Be
The “person I want to be” question taps into your association with a particular identity in order to facilitate choices that align with that identity. When faced with a decision point, you ask yourself “what would ‘the person I want to be’ do in this situation?” You may choose an adjective for this person in order to make the question more targeted. Perhaps you’re trying to be more measured in your interactions with staff when you’re frustrated at work - before writing that email response, you ponder the question, “what would a patient person say?” Over time, you’ll see that the choices you make align with your idea of a patient person, and your decisions will become more automatic as you take on that identity. You may also choose a person you admire and imagine their approach to a problem. I tend to use a role model for inspiration when facing decisions that stretch my comfort zone as an entrepreneur.
Change Your Default Option
When making a choice, people will usually choose the option that’s easiest. So if you want to increase a certain behavior, find a way to make your ideal option the default choice. For example, if you choose not to let candy come into the house, your default choice for a snack will be whatever healthier option you bought instead. If you tend to stay up late doom-scrolling, one way you might change your default behavior to get more sleep is to put your most distracting phone apps on a restriction that doesn’t allow access after 7pm. The options are endless and need to be personalized in order to be effective, so think about the behavior you’re trying to promote in your own life and how you might make that choice automatic. This will require some upfront effort, but creating automaticity around your preferred choices will create big returns in time saved down the line.
Change Your Social Environment
Humans are highly social creatures and often feel pressure to integrate into groups for safety and acceptance. If you find yourself making decisions you don’t agree with, look at the people you spend the most time with. Are your colleagues engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse and other risky behaviors? While some social situations are unavoidable, particularly at work, choose to be very protective of whom you allow into your life during your free time, and preferably join groups where your desired way of living is the norm. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, said “environment is the invisible hand that drives our behavior.” We may not realize the degree to which other people are influencing our behavior until we remove ourselves from those unhealthy situations and replace them with people whose values are aligned with ours.
Investing time and energy into building these frameworks can reap huge rewards in creating the life you want. By learning to consider decisions through the lens of the person you want to be, making your ideal choice your default option, and surrounding yourself with people who share your values, you’ll develop a system that makes your preferred choices effortless.
If you’re not sure where to start, please join us today for individualized coaching that helps you break through the blocks that are keeping you from moving forward.