The Myth Of Motivation

For years, I was in a desperate search for motivation. Numerous life goals were on hold as I awaited the motivation to tackle them: getting in shape, gaining more competence with the piano and guitar, and starting my own business. I thought all of these things would fall into place if I could simply hack the secret to getting motivated, and then nothing could hold me back anymore. After countless hours of reading self-help books, hundreds of hours of coaching training and experience, and launching a business, I do think I’ve learned the secret to motivation - and the secret is that it isn’t at all what I thought it was. Today I’ll share why I think you might benefit from de-prioritizing your search for motivation, and what might be helpful to focus on instead. 

Before we put motivation aside, I want to say it’s still important to know your “why.” If you’re not sure why you’re doing something or if you’re only doing it because someone else wants you to, it can be difficult to follow through. Think about how this action will benefit you. How will your life be better once you’ve completed this task or achieved this goal? Intrinsic motivation has been found to be more powerful than extrinsic motivation, which is doing something for some sort of external reward or to avoid punishment (think: not leaving your dirty dishes in the sink because you don’t want to annoy your partner). Even if you’re doing a task at someone else’s request, think about how following through will improve your life, whether it’s the internal reward of an act of kindness or nurturing your relationship with someone you care about. With that being said, let’s dive into the myth of motivation. 

Motivation Isn’t Required 

My personal breakthrough with motivation occurred as I was listening to an interview with an ultra-endurance athlete and world record holder. I realized the trait that allowed him to achieve feats that defied all physical odds wasn’t actually motivation but grit. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines grit as “firmness of mind or spirit,” but I like to think of it as persistence or perseverance. This distinction felt revolutionary for me because, whereas motivation felt like something ethereal that I had to conjure up (or worse - that motivation was something innate where I either “had it” or I didn’t), grit felt like something I could choose. I may not have control over the outcome of the race, but I can choose to keep showing up and practicing day after day. 

I realized there are many things in my life that I exhibit remarkable consistency with, and that’s because I never ask the question of whether I feel “motivated” to do it. It’s on my calendar, and when the time comes, I show up and do it. Perhaps my best example of this is that I don’t ask myself if I’m motivated to go to work every day. I banished the question “do I feel like doing this?” and replaced it with “it’s time to do this.” I started treating my priorities like work, and now several important things in my life - working out, blogging - are on my calendar and are not optional (except, of course, in extreme circumstances).  

Motivation Versus Activation

If the last section didn’t resonate with you because you find it difficult to follow through on commitments, here’s another concept that often gets confused with motivation: activation. While motivation is an internal drive, activation is how you start actually doing the work. To put this into practice, think about when you’ve been your most productive and leverage whatever situation enhanced your ability to follow through. For some, this means scheduling a meeting with someone because you know you’ll show up and do the work if someone else is counting on you. For others, you may find that the distractions in a coffee shop paradoxically lead to more focus than if you sit at your desk at home (writing this as I sit at a coffee shop). 

Another creative but controversial activation method is to commit that if you don’t do xyz, you’ll make a donation to an organization you dislike, which can be particularly effective if you’re also frugal. If this doesn’t appeal to you, you can make a financial commitment in other ways, such as purchasing a gym membership if that motivates you to exercise in order to “get your money’s worth” or signing up for coaching to kickstart some changes you want to make in your life. Lastly, if you’re someone who benefits from the activating effects of time pressure, set a challenge for yourself. This blog started with a challenge to write three blog posts in one week, after the goal of writing one post weekly had failed to produce any posts from me for several months. There’s no one-size-fits-all for activation, so pick the one or two that work best for you. 

Fighting Overwhelm

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by what you need to do, you’re probably looking at a project rather than a task. Think of someone with a chronic illness like diabetes who is terrified of the effects of the disease if it progresses and desperately wants to change their lifestyle. Unfortunately, every time they think of making changes, they get overwhelmed and keep putting it off for the next day. This person is motivated to change - they can clearly articulate why they want to make healthier choices and what the consequences might be if they don’t, but they feel stuck. It doesn’t help to beat yourself up in these moments that you don’t care enough or just don’t want it badly enough. In fact, because this person’s health is so important to them and because they’re so worried about what will happen if they don’t change, their fear is triggering an avoidant response. 

To combat overwhelm, break down the project into the single next task you need to do that takes only 1-5 minutes. “Find a new job” becomes “write down five things that are important for me in my next position.” Your next 1-5 minute task could be to find three job boards to use for your search. The following task might be to start with one of those job boards and bookmark three jobs you want to investigate further, and so on. By breaking projects down into smaller tasks, you not only reduce overwhelm, but you also solve the problem of “when am I going to find three hours to do this?” You don’t need three hours, you just need 5 minutes at a time, and it’s much easier to find 5 minutes. Imagine the relief you’ll feel from tackling your tasks instead of letting them hang over your head!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this food for thought on how you can improve your follow-through on the things that are most important to you. If you focus on building consistency, creating environments that maximize your activation, and breaking down projects into manageable, bite-sized tasks, you can drastically increase your self-efficacy. If you benefit from the activation of making a commitment to work with someone on accomplishing your goals, please schedule a consultation with us today for more information on our coaching offerings.