Why You Should Build A Habit You Dislike
Putting work aside for a moment, can you remember the last time you successfully completed something you really didn’t want to do, preferably some sort of physical challenge? Perhaps you really dislike yard work but your yard was overgrown, and after stressing over the sight of it for months you decided to cut and haul away the brush yourself. Or maybe hiking is your idea of misery rather than fun, but your overly enthusiastic friend dragged you along for a hike that they promised would only take an hour but somehow ended up taking four times as long. Think about what it felt like to face that challenge. Did you have a sense of dread? Was there a moment when you felt there was no way you would make it? What kept you going? How did it feel to finally look back on what you had accomplished?
For me, this physical feat is more mundane: every day I go for a run. But you have to understand - I really don’t like running. I see other runners on the trail, many of them with slender, toned physiques where I can just imagine their ancestors outlasting the chase for their prey and bringing a feast back to their community. I’m not sure what my ancestors did to contribute, but it did not involve speed. Or endurance. I simply wasn’t built for either of those things. However, I started running back in college, when I was facing the stresses of being a new adult and pre-med student and desperately needed an outlet. There was a cemetery across the street from my dorm, and I would go run laps when I could feel my angst building up. I learned then that, while I disliked how I felt while doing it, I loved how I felt afterwards. After an on-off relationship with running for years, it’s now a part of my daily routine. In this article, I want to share some of the benefits you might expect if you turn your own unpleasant physical challenge into a habit.
Endorphins
There’s a simple explanation for why you feel this way, you might be thinking. You’re just getting a runner’s high and trying to pass it off as something more profound. Well, it’s very generous of you to assume I’m running far enough to get runner’s high, but I’m not. That being said, I definitely experience an increase in endorphins from the physical exertion, and I feel the positive effects throughout the rest of the day. This difference is so significant that even after skipping one day, I can already notice (the hallmark sign for me is that little inconveniences start really getting under my skin). I remember at one point during early covid lockdowns, I struggled with the feeling that I needed to run every day or otherwise face some sort of compromised ability to cope. “I don’t want to need this,” I remember saying. Since then, my version of balance is that I can run as little as 5 minutes - I just have to do enough to break a sweat every day, and that’s been enough for me to reap all the benefits.
Distress tolerance
The psychological effects of a physical challenge go well beyond a boost in endorphins; it’s also the practice of learning to tolerate discomfort. Now, I’m not suggesting that you ignore warning signs when your body is injured or has reached its limit, but I am talking about honing the ability to keep going through mild to moderate physical discomfort and learning to roll with overwhelm. You may notice that the physical sensations that occur during exercise pretty accurately mimic the sensations of panic - your heart is racing, you break out in a sweat, your muscles are tense, you struggle for each breath. By experiencing these symptoms in a controlled environment, you expose your body to a variety of physical sensations such that you don’t become so accustomed to comfort that any deviation would be cause for alarm. It’s healthy to have an ebb and flow in your sympathetic and parasympathetic regulation, and regular physical exertion helps normalize that balance.
Perspective
Lastly, running helps me feel some agency around the tough things in my life because I choose to do it. Working as a physician can be demanding and stressful with many aspects feeling out of our control, and I realized some time ago that my life satisfaction improves significantly if work isn’t the hardest thing I do. Many mornings before my run I think, “today’s the day I’m not gonna make it [the full distance],” and there are days as I mentioned above where I choose to run a shorter distance due to limited time or a need for recovery. But the majority of these times I’m able to move forward and run my intended amount, and that provides some perspective that my thoughts often don’t reflect my actual ability. I learn not to give that nagging “you can’t do this” too much attention, because I overcome it every day. By choosing to endure a voluntary hardship each morning (don’t laugh - I told you I don’t like running), I often end the run thinking “it only gets easier from here” as I move forward into the rest of my day in clinic.
I’ve enjoyed playing up how much I dislike running, but hopefully at this point you can see how much it gives back to me as well. By choosing an activity that’s sufficiently challenging, you can enjoy the physical and psychological benefits of regularly engaging in a voluntary, controlled hardship. Is there a physical challenge in your life that provides these same benefits for you? Perhaps it’s dancing, hiking, climbing, lifting, cycling, rowing, camping, or open water swimming. While it’s worked out best for me to do my habit every day because I’m particularly energized by the idea of a continuous “streak,” the frequency that works best for you might be one day a month, or a weekend every other month. Take a moment to appreciate the gifts of this activity if you already have one, and if you don’t, what’s the one next step you’d like to explore?
If you’d like support with building a new habit, you might enjoy these other articles on effective goal-setting, what to do if goal-setting doesn’t work for you, and the myth of motivation. If you’d like more personalized support, please click below to schedule a free one-on-one coaching consultation, or join our community for more inspiration.